Want a little free moonshine? There is some waiting for you just over there. He was very familiar. I couldn't place him though, I was not falling for the chasing the moonshine gag. I knew that I would run over there looking all around for Moonshine, just to find moonbeams, shining through the trees, lighting up the muddy path & making it look beautiful even though it is mud. A decided she would pursue the shine. I let her go & turned my attention to the Inkwell Rhythm Makers as they picked, plucked, & scratched through some sinner music meant to save the soul but with the unintended consequences of making you want to drink large quantities of Moonshine. Other Jug band players took the stage, I went to see how A was doing chasing after moonbeams. She was standing up against a small table. It looked like a magicians table full of tricks to astound & amaze you. There was a mason jar & 3 small glasses, each of a different make. A song about whiskey drifted over the mud trail from the jug band. The fella, looked up as he poured out a golden smooth liquid that I could taste as it fell from the mason to the used dirty cup. My mouth watered, he looked up & said these magic words & waved his hands over the magicians table, would you like some of my Moonshine? I didn't have to answer, the cup was raised to my hand. I thanked him, put the cup to my lips & slowly without stopping but without shooting the liquid gold, savored the whole glass. Smooth as the bottom of a worn out shoe, smooth as the back of a pretty girls knee, smooth as the edge of a murderers knife. This was the most delicious liquid that has ever draped itself across my tongue. This was a proud man, South Carolinian man, he was sharing his Moonshine with no other intended results but the satisfaction of seeing us enjoy his amazing liquid. He was not selling or marketing, he was not promoting anything else by providing free moonshine, you wouldn't dare do those sort of things with this, the liquor of the god's. This potion can only be shared with the true desire to spread happiness & this true gentleman & his beautiful girl were there to see that happiness imparted to several of us by passers as we walked in the mud and danced to the devil's music.
The fire was hypnotizing, or the mass quantities of booze I consumed may have also contributed to my general malaise. Out of the darkness something large came charging at us. It had maneuvered itself behind us & gotten close enough that there was no way for us to have reacted before it came upon us in all it's fury. I heard the bark of a fallen tree give way & heard a moment of silence from the rushing beast, I felt this was it he had launched & would drop on me before I could react. There was a large thump as the body of the intruder fell to the ground. Then silence & more silence. I said to the others with me that I think our attacker has hurt itself. I proceeded to go see what it was & what condition it was in. There on the other side of the log lay an alien man, a drunk alien man, who when asked if he was OK responded by yelling unintelligibly & waving his fingers at us in a menacing way. We figured he was OK & walked back to the camp. One girl wandered further into the woods to take a leak. It turns out 2 other aliens had been hiding in the woods & she came & peed right beside them. They kept quiet because by the time they figured out what she was doing, they felt it would have been inappropriate to jump out of the bushes & scare her. As they watched her walking back to camp they saw the drunk injured alien tackle her & saw that she was extremely displeased with this event. Alien #2 Utah came out in time to get between the 2 knowing that drunk alien did not make the best decision in tackling a lone girl in the woods right after she had just peed. Josh also came out but wandered past to join us in drinking around the fire. They had originally left while many people were around with the intent to wander the forest scaring people with their alien outfits, while on their mission most of the camp went to sleep. Upon return only our small band of drinkers around the fire remained as we had just returned from a night hike to a bridge where a police officer had stopped us to make sure we were not intending a group suicide. The outfits they had on were red duct tape holding the used table cloths from the wedding reception wrapped all around their bodies with ferns stuck in at ridiculous angles & places. They were wearing the round Japanese style lantern cover balls on their heads with pieces torn out for the eyes. Utah having a serious conversation with the girl in the woods trying to calm the situation did not quite strike her as an effective moderator. The girl seemed to become more furious as this alien tried to tell her the other was just drunk & hey it's just a party & no one got hurt, all this coming out of a Japanese lantern ball did not calm the situation. The drunk alien wandered off, that separation worked to calm the girl. Josh had helped with the drunk aliens outfit & had used a whole roll of duct tape on him just for the fun of it. Drunk alien could not get out of his outfit. The aliens decided to disrobe from their spacey uniforms due to the excessive heat & restriction of them. Drunk alien could not get out after about 15 minutes of trying, (this had kept us completely entertained), he had not succeeded in getting any of it off. He asked for help. We started pulling at it but everyone was doing it at once, in different directions & instead of tearing off it stretched & constricted in areas, he pushed us off as we started to choke him with his own space suit. We went back in with a better strategy to all pull in the same direction. This worked even though it took a long time & involved drunk alien being knocked down into the mud & picked up several times during the process. The aliens were freed of their spacey garb & now will blend in perfectly with the normal humans.
Posts
