Quotes-Not-Quotes

As I look Back
Or perhaps you could
Call it
Puppy Dog Love
As a child
(Last year
Nothing:
Characteristic of one's time
All I have to say about structure
Does it matter which?
Kansas Has this about it.
That music is simple to make
It was a pleasure
And now
This is a pleasure
I remember loving sound
Before I ever
I was talking
For a long time.

Lines taken at random from "Lecture on Nothing" By John Cage.

Cool Quote #1

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

As quoted in Richard Dawkins' Eulogy for Douglas Adams

Horror (Dream #5)

I have challenged her before, I can't believe my greed. I am willing to challenge her again. No one has ever beaten her. No one but me has ever gotten away with their life after taking her on. But no one, not even me has beaten her. I can't pass up the challenge. Others around me are following & are willing to take her on too. They are emboldened by my willingness to try again. I should tell them that I am likely going to die, that the odds are against me & that I am absolutely insane to even try again. I should but I will not. I hope God forgives me & understands that I have not pushed anyone else to do this, in fact I have not even made the suggestion. I am without blame for their stupidity. I however can use the distraction that their bodies will supply as she takes her time & pleasures herself as she loves to do with the tearing & ripping away of the flesh from the soul in a long joyous sigh. I must remain at the back of the pack. I can not allow them to look at me as their leader. They are brave but vain they must want to beat me to the prize & jump in head first to the hell on earth no one believed existed.

Tying my shoe I notice the strands in the string. Browned from the earth I have wandered. I wonder as I view what is perhaps my last vision of life on earth, where I have been & what piece of that past is coming along with me to my doom. Have I the right to bring along even the smallest piece of this life to the hell I am voluntarily entering. That piece of sand. That night on the beach with Beth, as the chill air came in she leaned in close to warm herself on my chest. I could smell her breath, feel the beat of her heart in her fingertips as they tucked into the fold of my arm. What right have I to drag that piece of sand that fond memory into this. If I was a moral man I would enter naked with only my fragile skin to protect me. I need these shoes, I need every edge I can get. I am sorry Beth but I need to throw you to the mouth of hell to get what I am here for.

I breath the air, I can feel life in this air. Pungent, musty, stale, it is still life, decay is life. Through this passage before me there is no life in the air. I remember when I was there as I breathed it was an experience like no other, the complete absence of life even just in the air. The complete absence of feelings other that terror, pain, & horror. The pain was so overwhelming it made me start to giggle, then laugh out loud, I got so high I couldn't see straight. It was a beautiful feeling. Pure unlike life that is a constant mix, convoluted, unsteady & confusing. Is my willingness to return here really based on greed? Could it be that I am looking for that purity I found only here. Could it be that in itself purity is our ultimate achievement even when that purity is pure pain, pure horror, pure fear?

Blood on my shoestring. I brought these same shoes with me the last time I was here. Could it be possible to come out this time with the purity I think I am seeking. Is there anyway to return with it. Is this the reality, I did not escape last time, I was left with this hunger to return, she has addicted me, I need my fix. I have no fear. For even a taste of what I need, a split second before I die it will be worth it. You win honey, I'm coming back.

Political (Sorry)

I apologize in advance. I generally try to stay away from political issues on my blog & use it more for fun or personal items.

In this case though I had to get it off my chest. I watched President Bush visit the Walter Reed Army Medical Center on March 30 2007. It took him over 5 weeks to get around to personally look into one of the most embarrassing mistakes happening under his charge. When you screw up & hurt other people thats one thing like in Iraq. In that case they are removed enough that the majority idiots of the country can look past it as if it were just another show on the television. This however is affecting his own people. This was not a surprise as most seem to think. The Veterans Administration has been making claims that the care for the returning Soldiers has been sub par since just a few months into the war. Unfortunately the Veterans Administration can't really get involved until a soldier is released from the Military. They can attempt political & media pressure but the Soldier is still owned by the Military. One of the claims is that Soldiers needing specialized care that the Veterans Administration is set up to provide, are held up in red tape keeping them under the Military s poor care for extended periods of time. What reason have they got not to discharge someone quickly into the hands of those that can properly care for them as soon as possible. My only thought is if you keep them in the Military you don't let as many of their horrific situations out to the public & the damage to these kid's is not so saturated through the media out to the country.

During President Bush's visit to Walter Reed Army Medical Center he met with many of the recovering Soldiers. As I watched him go from Soldiers missing arms to Soldiers missing legs I put myself in his shoes & asked how would I feel at that moment knowing that I had caused this kid to lose this arm or this leg or for that matter the life of the friends of theirs that were killed in the same tragedy that cost them their limb. I choked up but then looked up & saw President Bush playing with their prosthetics like it was a new toy. He seemed to look satisfied almost proud that he had the power to do this to people. He didn't show any regret or feelings of remorse at all.

He then spoke & stated that the Government would insure that these Soldiers get the treatment their families expect. He didn't say he would insure this or work on this himself, he said the Government. The President, whether it be Bush or any President has to take personal responsibility & personal involvement in a situation like this. President Bush did not. He stated that the care would be up to the level these soldiers families expect. Why not state that the care will be to his extremely high expectations of excellent care for the soldiers. Why put it off on others expectations, does he not have any expectations for the care of our people?

I Hate Poetry

I am writing this to see if anyone responds with suggestions of Poetry that I might like. I have found quite a few that I enjoy but for the majority of poetry I've seen it is a pure pain in my brain to read.

Adrian Mitchell wrote a Sunday Poem (to the Christians)
Excerpt:

Eat this: God has another place,
A goal-hole. Walls contract and crush
Necks on to legs, bellies into faces
And all parts in a constipated hash
Of cancered madmen, vomiting and skinned,
Skewered in flames which rot, restore and rot,
Breathing only the tear-gas of their sins -
That's what the bad dead get.

Don L. Lee wrote From A Black Perspective

Wallace for president
his momma for vice-president

was scribbled
on the men's room wall
on
over
the toilet

where
it's
supposed to be.


I like these and poems by Kenneth Patchen, many of the Beats & some crazy Japanese poetry. Maybe you have some other suggestions for me.

THE STINK WALL

Following the large horseflies around the basement, hoping they would lead me to the location of the smell of dead animal emanating from every direction. The stench was evil scientist amazing. With my red bandanna tied around my moth & nose, along with the Curious George flashlight, & the Taz Toes, I crept along. The Flies were no stool pigeons, they saw that I wanted to remove their meal ticket & were unwilling to give up the location. I followed but they led me astray, even to the point of sacrificing themselves to Castor & Pollacks by leaving the basement into the kitchen. The evil stench was like a ventriloquist, only instead of a voice it projected the smell, everywhere I went it would get stronger then weaker. A bout of ennui worked to resolve the hunt, all I had to do was feign interest, act wearied as if to give up and my nemesis came to me. Finally face to face with my nemesis did not equate to success, rather just the 1st part of the journey ended with the hard part to come. My nemesis found a lair deep within the walls of Liberty. With no fear of death or dead things & a very large hammer I pounded the hell out of the wall & removed the obstacle keeping me from resolving our smelly issue. Exposed like the Wizard in OZ, my prey was not to be feared. Through breaks in the wall I spied 3 bodies. In a rush as if they would get away I tore at the rest of the wall. They were not going anywhere. The family of rat's had come together in a group to die. There were many more exposed once the wall was completely removed. I gingerly removed their bodies from the wall, I had to do this by hand, no tool would get back to the crevice they had made their final resting place. I felt bad that I could not leave them in their chosen final resting place, unfortunately it stunk up the whole house. The children of the flies, Maggots, had already gone to work feasting on the bodies of the deceased. I reached in and scooped every last maggot out by hand. They would travel with their meal to their final resting place in the circle of life.

Dave

Dave was one of my best friends & I loved him. My favorite thing about Dave was that nothing was ever just "OK". Every new thing, every new place & especially every new person to Dave is "just the coolest! new thing", "just the coolest! new place", "the coolest! new person.

Dave calls me all the time to say "dude you gotta go to the place!" or "dude you gotta meet this guy!" "Kevin you would totally dig 'em"

Imagine being able to be that absolutely excited about every new place you go, every new thing you find, and especially every new person you meet. That would be pretty cool.

Dave did.