The fact that the wedding happened in the mouth of an active volcano foreshadowed the rest of the day. Granted there was no fiery explosions nor was there any lava, but the fact that it was there, miles underground, waiting to explode, must send up vibrations to infuse all those around with the fiery emissions of the mouth of hell. These hellish infusions sent all exposed, & even some slightly connected over a far distance, into an uncommon anger.
What a beautiful setting for a wedding B... & B... looked so at ease, a far departure from the stress levels of the bride & grooms of other weddings I have attended. B... Did scrunch up once as if fighting back tears, he was all puffed up like an angry turkey or a cold cat. The tux definitely made him capable of this as there is not enough flesh on him to puff up without the tux. The caldera was filled with green grass & thousands of dragonfly's hovering above it as if it were their lawn. Children dressed up like some 1800's Southern high class family, were busy trying to catch the dragonfly's
while at the same time trying not to trip over the volumes of clothing they had been inserted into & told not to mess them up.
The trees seemed to reach far higher up to the heaven's here, they begin their growth on the rim of the caldera, us being down in the depression are about 50 feet below their root base. This is the case on mountains as well but you normally have an angled distance to those. These went right up out of the wall of the volcano. It was a different & a beautiful thing.
The wedding was running about an hour behind schedule, the location made it so no one really cared. If not for being here for a wedding, it is a place most of us would probably come to hang out & do exactly what we are doing now, Only we would have on far fewer articles of heavy clothing. Our friend L... seemed to be enjoying herself but I could tell she was suffering from the heat & direct sunlight. L... has dark black skin, I imagine she feels like I would had I wore a black outfit. The sweat pouring off of her was like a constant drizzle of mist, even the handkerchief given to her was not keeping up with the job. L... is extremely well endowed, in that her breasts are enormous. The heat & sweat was playing havoc with the double sided tape she had used to keep her breasts inside the sheer outfit she was wearing. I watched with fascination for much of this down time at her attempts to keep her top on. The whole time I was routing for the sun & sweat.
The rumors abounded as to why the wedding was starting so late. Some were better than others, but none were as good as the 2 reasons that caused the wedding to still be on hold. The typical rumors were the cold feet syndrome, the preacher was late, clothing malfunctions, etc. In actuality 2 things happened. First of all the best man V..., who had come all the way from California for the wedding, had stopped off at an adult store he does business with in his career down in California. He ended up having sex with one of the adult entertainers at the porn store. This is the actual reason he was late. You may think this is a valid reason to be late & may even say you would have done the same thing. What you have to realize is that the porn store & the entertainers there are not, & I do mean Not! attractive, erotic, or sexually exciting at all. This is a place where porn addicts go & where junky prostitutes work. He obviously did not have to pay but you are allowed to turn down gift's in America, unlike some other cultures where the refusal of acceptance would be a great disrespect, here he should have taken advantage of the open culture we have here & simply said no way in hell.
V... finally showed up a little over an hour late, Still no start in sight for the wedding. Apparently the time V... delayed opened up another issue that would not have come up had he been on time. The bride locked herself in the car with the only set of key's. No she did not get cold feet to marry the groom. She read through her vows and decided that these items she was attaching herself to for the rest of her life were not the ones she was willing to commit to. The crowd insured her that they were beautiful vows & would work just fine. She refused to come out. They decided it would be best to remove themselves & allow her time to think it through & they were sure she would decide they were fine. They were wrong, she did finally emerge, with a new set of vows that she had decided she could live with.
The wedding was so short that the delay was actually a necessity to insure no one claimed it was too short. The wedding lasted all of about 10 minutes. Not one person made comment to the lack of substance. All were satisfied that the hour & a half spent in a beautiful piece of God's work, waiting, added just the right amount of sanctity to the union.
We moved over to another area of the forest where the 1st of 2 receptions was happening. The groom had the advantage over most grooms of working in the food industry. All of the food & the cooks & servers were volunteer, or in exchange of a wedding present. This was not only the fanciest wedding spread I have ever attended, but was definitely in the top 2 or 3 food events I have attended. I can't even pronounce most of the items they were serving. They had all the meat groups at once that is rare at weddings, you normally choose one. They had chicken, kalbi beef, seafood, oysters, ceviche, fried duck skins to carry a duck meat something or other that was like a spread & was very tasty. There was prosciutto wrapped scallops, lot's of fresh fruits & salads, grilled vegetables hot off the grill, all kinds of sauces, there was an orange ginger one that I really liked. It was made for an organ meat thing, stuffed kidney I think, they had that I didn't like. I just used the sauce on bread.
S.. was going to the car for some type of illicit activity. V.. went along. While there V.. decided to drink a protein powder drink. He could not insert the protein powder into the water bottle so he pulled out his box cutter & began to cut the top of the plastic bottle off. As he circled the bottle with the razor, he came around right through the vein in his wrist. It immediately shot blood out all over the back of a brand new, rented, vehicle. Add to that the dropped bottle of water mixing with the whole jar of protein powder. The back of the car & the ground outside looked like the scene of a drug deal murder with the powdered drugs & the blood spilled all around. I tied a tourniquet of one of his own socks off his foot around his wound, the flow was stopped & no further medical assistance was needed other than some antibiotic ointment and a real bandage.
A conversation after this event sparked the rest of the insanity that continues for the rest of the day & into the early morning hours of the following day. S.. in shock from all the blood was on the verge of losing her lunch, S.. decided to push her buttons at this time not knowing how hard she was just trying to keep it together, she blew up. The cake cutting ceremony, cakes also fancier than any ever & made for free by friends, was corny but went well, until the bride did something odd. There were 3 men there she thought were cute & all just happen to be wearing black wife beaters under their shirts. I said out loud that there must have been a sale on them at K-Mart. The bride gathered the 3 men together had then strip off their jackets & button up shits to pose in suggestive poses with her, all three of them at once. Now at the bachelor et party this was acceptable behavior, however she is now a married woman by just a few minutes & her new husband hasn't even finished the piece of cake they cut together. This prompted some excitement between the wedding party. We cut out.
There was the second 1/2 of the reception that was to happen at a bar they had reserved the upstairs of for this evening. Between the forest & the second 1/2 our friend S.. got in a physical fight with his girlfriend l.. This with all of us in the car as passengers & with us watching as we come a hairs width from driving up the side of a city bus. He stops as we yell about the bus, freaks out, gets out of the car in the middle of the intersection & leaves. He was the driver. Key's were still there, his girlfriend was hysterical, I hopped in & drove us to another friends house to bring down the level a bit with lot's of vodka. Those friends of mine were invited along to the reception & we headed out with a plan to stop off at a different bar along the way. S.. & J.. got into it when we got lost walking around the neighborhood where both bars were located but could not locate them. J.. walked off & left her, he is from another city, we had no clue how he would expect to get around or get home. I took us all to a bar I knew in the area. We had a good time at this bar & while not paying attention both missing men who had run off during arguments appeared here & everyone was getting along fine now, I figure their issues & directions on in to where were currently were happened on the phone in the restrooms.
We got to the reception area & along with a mass amount of people, at least 40, more than enough to constitute filling the reservation of the top level of the bar. The bar had decided because they had a large amount of other customers to ignore the reservation & open up to the public those areas that were to be reserved. This spurned more fighting with the wedding party, the family, the waitresses, the bartenders, and strangers. My friend L.. got cut off right away, partially because of the level of aggression in dealing with the bar's poor decision making & partially because of the mass Vodka we had consumed at E..'s house earlier. This prompted him to get in a massive fight with his ex. We brought in the leftover wedding cake, placed in on a pool table & proceeded to try to have a reception with some toasts to people who had helped with all of the arrangements & to those who came from far away to honor the union. Unfortunately it was not received well & some who had put the most time & financial efforts into this did not feel they got the gratitude they deserved. More arguments broke out as they grumbled & their significant others tried to bring them down before they opened up in public & embarrassed themselves & everyone else, especially their significant other. Those all came across as couples fighting, I overheard all of the happenings & know that it was a growing undercurrent of mass dissatisfaction. This was clearly the vibrations from the volcano coming to a head.
I had to get out, I got E.. & her husband T.. & talked them into leaving & going over to their house. I figured these were the best people to end up with since they were friends of mine I had dragged along to the bar but were not part of the guest list. On the way out L.. was embroiled in an all out argument with one of her 2 ex's who were there. Her other ex was drunk & insisting on returning to her place where his bike was. She talked me into taking him along as she lived by E.. & T.., I was to take drunk L.. to her house so he could get his bike & leave & then I was going to exit over to E.. & T..'s to finally have some fun without the insanity. When we got drunk L.. to the house for his bike he refuses to leave. Him & I go way back & this was new, I told him don't fuck with me, this is not my house I can't let you stay here & it was a favor to you & the resident to get you here. I told him to wait out front & if the resident wanted to let him stay there when she got home then that was up to her. He refused to leave, I grabbed his bike & threw it out the front door, he attempted to kick me in the nut's so I picked him up & threw him on top of his bike. I locked the door & left with E.. & T..
On the way to E... & T...'s house, E... asked T.. "Why were you looking up at the neighbors window earlier?" Just matter of factly, but with some sinister intent. T... stiffened up immediately, telling me he knew what she was talking about, he know what he did was wrong, & may have even done more than was exposed & will now have to try to lessen the blow. E... went on to say she saw the girl across the street changing in front of the window the other day with the curtains open while T... was outside their apartment smoking. Apparently neighbor girl is putting on shows for E...'s new husband, & E's new husband is not only not looking away but is covering it up. E... began questioning if he had had relations with neighbor girl & if that is why she put's on the striptease for him nightly from across the street? We pulled up to the house at this time, E... not getting an answer of any type from T... got out of the car & shot straight toward neighbor lady's house screaming home wrecker, T... headed her off, she fought like a demon & made it to home wreckers front door, woke her up as it is now about 1:45am, and proceeded to challenge her to all of the real or imagined infidelities between her husband & home wrecker. I walked over to E... & T...'s home, walked in & took an unopened bottle of rum & a 12 pack box of Pabst that only had 4 beers in it, shoved the bottle of rum in the 12 pack box & wandered off while they continued their neighborly discussions..
I am miles away from my car, with no place to stay at 2am in the morning in a city I don't live in & every one of the people I know has been in some sort of altercation & are probably still embroiled. I remembered that TP... had not gone to the wedding, only his girlfriend had attended he had to work. I called him, his girlfriend had beat me there & they were in an argument so I could not come over & frankly did not want to. I proceeded to walk in the direction I thought my car was in & drank my bottle of rum with Pabst chasers.
My car was outside L... house where I had tossed drunk L.. who was gone now, She drove up as I was getting to my car, Even though she had been in arguments with 2 ex boyfriends, none of them were there & I was invited to sleep there & figured all the negative volcanic arguments were over. J..&S.. showed up & needed a place to stay, L... agreed & they came in, went up stairs & proceeded to get into a shouting match about J... pulling the fire alarm at the bar we were all at earlier, apparently things went even farther down hill than when I left. S.. was pissed that they almost got in trouble with the fire department but no one actually saw who did it, I was wondering why they were still there when the fire department pulled up, apparently others who were getting rides with them were outside with the rest of the patrons of the burning building. Only they were fighting about who was going where. "You are coming home tonight" "I am not going back home with you I never want to see you again" etc. So while we were listening to this & watching early morning cartoons, Drunk L.. shows back up & starts pounding on the door. My choices: Go out & pound on him some more, Leave again & sleep in my car, Tell L... to go to bed & ignore Drunk L... I did the last one, she was drunk enough by now to go to bed & Drunk L...'s pounding's did not bother her. I drank rum until I could not hear anything either.
The fire was hypnotizing, or the mass quantities of booze I consumed may have also contributed to my general malaise. Out of the darkness something large came charging at us. It had maneuvered itself behind us & gotten close enough that there was no way for us to have reacted before it came upon us in all it's fury. I heard the bark of a fallen tree give way & heard a moment of silence from the rushing beast, I felt this was it he had launched & would drop on me before I could react. There was a large thump as the body of the intruder fell to the ground. Then silence & more silence. I said to the others with me that I think our attacker has hurt itself. I proceeded to go see what it was & what condition it was in. There on the other side of the log lay an alien man, a drunk alien man, who when asked if he was OK responded by yelling unintelligibly & waving his fingers at us in a menacing way. We figured he was OK & walked back to the camp. One girl wandered further into the woods to take a leak. It turns out 2 other aliens had been hiding in the woods & she came & peed right beside them. They kept quiet because by the time they figured out what she was doing, they felt it would have been inappropriate to jump out of the bushes & scare her. As they watched her walking back to camp they saw the drunk injured alien tackle her & saw that she was extremely displeased with this event. Alien #2 Utah came out in time to get between the 2 knowing that drunk alien did not make the best decision in tackling a lone girl in the woods right after she had just peed. Josh also came out but wandered past to join us in drinking around the fire. They had originally left while many people were around with the intent to wander the forest scaring people with their alien outfits, while on their mission most of the camp went to sleep. Upon return only our small band of drinkers around the fire remained as we had just returned from a night hike to a bridge where a police officer had stopped us to make sure we were not intending a group suicide. The outfits they had on were red duct tape holding the used table cloths from the wedding reception wrapped all around their bodies with ferns stuck in at ridiculous angles & places. They were wearing the round Japanese style lantern cover balls on their heads with pieces torn out for the eyes. Utah having a serious conversation with the girl in the woods trying to calm the situation did not quite strike her as an effective moderator. The girl seemed to become more furious as this alien tried to tell her the other was just drunk & hey it's just a party & no one got hurt, all this coming out of a Japanese lantern ball did not calm the situation. The drunk alien wandered off, that separation worked to calm the girl. Josh had helped with the drunk aliens outfit & had used a whole roll of duct tape on him just for the fun of it. Drunk alien could not get out of his outfit. The aliens decided to disrobe from their spacey uniforms due to the excessive heat & restriction of them. Drunk alien could not get out after about 15 minutes of trying, (this had kept us completely entertained), he had not succeeded in getting any of it off. He asked for help. We started pulling at it but everyone was doing it at once, in different directions & instead of tearing off it stretched & constricted in areas, he pushed us off as we started to choke him with his own space suit. We went back in with a better strategy to all pull in the same direction. This worked even though it took a long time & involved drunk alien being knocked down into the mud & picked up several times during the process. The aliens were freed of their spacey garb & now will blend in perfectly with the normal humans.
while at the same time trying not to trip over the volumes of clothing they had been inserted into & told not to mess them up.
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