Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.

Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.

Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.

Thanksgiving Weekends

Introduction:
This is a jumbled up remembrance of Thanksgivings past around the orphans Thanksgiving Day celebrations .... short versions

One year at the U-District house, we had an amazing spread of food as always along with the amazing spread of booze. We crammed way too many people into a couple of small cars & drove to the goth club on capitol hill. There the Spits played a show that was absolutely insane. They threw pot's & pan's & dishes & microwaves out into the pit & all of us smashed the hell out of everything. Maggie & Kate got a hold of a couple of pot's & wore them to keep from getting their heads knocked in by all the flying mayhem. Nick was pole dancing naked on stage & without using his hands swinging his dick around in circles like a stripper girl would do with her tassels. The Spits were rocking it.

Another year at the U-District house, known as the bloodiest Thanksgiving ever. I was living here now & the day started out with another amazing spread of food & booze. The day got wild early in the evening when drunken playful fighting sporadically broke out around the house. A shot glass fight broke out, where we were throwing shot glasses at each other full speed. I almost got Johnathan square in the head once when I was aiming at Greg & Johnathan came around the corner just in time to have a shot glass coming straight at his skull, he was quick enough to duck back out of the way & I got my intended target right in the back. One of the shot glasses hit a gallon glass jar of pickles so hard it punched a hole right through the jar in a perfect circle without breaking the jar. All the juice above the hole ran out & in the morning we found the shot glass nestled in the bottom with the remaining pickles. At some point in the night someone got bloodied in some way & left bloody hand prints all the way up the banister into the upstairs bathroom & left a mess of blood on the sink. We never did figure out who that was & what happened. I was wearing some Tasmanian Devil slippers & gashed my foot wide open on some broken glass. The slippers soaked most of the blood like a sponge & squished it out as I walked around. At Maggie's insistence I went to care for the wound & poured peroxide & rubbing alcohol over it then wrapped it tight with Duct tape & put the bloody slippers back on & returned to the party just in time to enter a fight with Greg. I pounded him down then picked him up & bowled him like a bowling ball into the staircase which knocked him out cold. While Greg laid there unconscious Johnathan was starting a fight with Stephan, Stephan wanted nothing to do with it & turned, to which Johnathan put an egg in Stephan's shirt then proceeded to smack him on the back & smashing egg all over inside Stephan's shirt. Stephan elbowed Johnathan right in the eye knocking him down. Johnathan couldn't see from his eye for awhile & then regained his sight later with no ill effects except for a black eye. Johnathan went to the fridge to get some ice & found Greg there with his head fully in the freezer & asked him what her was doing. Greg said his head hurt.

This year Thanksgiving was more mellow but the night after we had Samfest a benefit concert to raise funds for a memorial for Sam. Early in these evening of bands Rochelle got bombed & started doing striptease & sex show like craziness in the booths. She was completely gone. Tanya, Tony, & I took her home & put her to bed. When I returned I was immediately approached for help with Johnathan. Apparently he had smashed up the green room with power dives into everything, smashing himself up as much as the room. Then he proceeded to go outside & was attempting to piss on a bum who was sleeping outside the bar when 3 officers approached him. The told him he was old enough to know better than that & her responded by repeatedly yelling at them that he was 40 years old. I'm 40Years old, I'm 40 yours old, etc. The bar bouncers told the officers they would get him out of there & home. Everyone was standing outside the bar when I arrived. The bouncers, many of Johnathan's friends, The 3 officers, The owner of the bar, The volunteer driver of a car to take him home. Johnathan was wrapped around the outside of the car door like a cat trying to not be thrown into a tub of water. I immediately walked through everyone, grabbed Johnathan by the face, punched him in the gut & when he collapsed pushed him into the car & closed the door. He immediately tried to grab the steering & drive controls of the car in the front seat, so I jumped in there & shoved him back to the back. I hopped into the back seat, wrapped up his arms & leg's with mine & shoved him sown to the space between the seats & told the driver Michell to get in & take us to Johnathan's. He screamed the whole way home like he was being killed & when we got him there he dropped to the ground on purpose & would not walk. Stevil & I carried him kicking ^& dragging all the way to his apartment.

The day after we were eating in the dock & a crazy broke out of his cage apparently. The crazy in the dock started yelling about how Wi fi is setting us up for nuclear Armageddon, theres one at a bar stool in every bar in America, they are using it to target us. Then started yelling give me matches! When he got them he yelled "Sulfer!" "GO!" lights the match tosses it on the ground & yells "Boom!" Then proceeded to rant more & left. This kept us very entertained for our breakfast after Samfest, Thanksgiving weekend.

Was it a horrible year? 2007

I look at 2007 and think what a horrible year. This year has been full of tragedy. My best friend Dave passed away & left behind his son & wife. A great friend of mine Sam passed away & left a gaping hole in a whole community of people. A friend Shayna passed away in a tragic car accident. She was one of the daughters of a small community so her passing affected every one in that community. My friend Janet had a stroke that she survived but the final outcome of the damage is still yet to be seen.

Looks like a horrible year. Then I look deeper. I got to see Dave this year before he died. I saw Dave rarely these days usually just once over Christmas & even then did not get to spend the kind of time I wish I could have. He was a different person most of the time because of overuse of alcohol. To get to see him sober & know that he would even remember our time together was great, especially considering the timing before his death.

I spent time with Sam frequently over the last 11 years, this year was no exception. I thought about Sam & found that even though her death is sad, it was not tragic. She lived every minute of her life & left nothing she wanted to do undone. The only thing we'll miss out on now is more of a full life. I got to see her just before she died. She told me she loved me as she always did. I did not feel like I missed out on anything in my friendship with Sam.

Jack a new soul to this life was born, Anatomist after what seemed to be an eternal pregnancy brought him in & he came in with no complications, totally healthy. That is another good part of the year. Oh, the pregnancy seemed eternal because she blogged what seemed to be every horrible second of the pregnancy. If any of you want to dissuade your daughters from getting pregnant, cut out Anatomist's pregnancy & just after pregnancy blog's, I think those blogs are one of the best birth controls possible.

Dave's son even though he will not get to spend anymore time with his dad, has a family in Dave's relatives and in Wendy's along with some friends that will care for him. He will not miss out on good input from his elders. Greg I know will have a great influence on him & Wendy is one of the most caring person's in the world. There is no doubt on this as she is the only one that I think could have loved Dave the way she did. He had some personality traits that weaker people would not be able to see past to get to the good stuff about Dave.

Janet had her stroke & even though it could have been, thankfully it wasn't worse. I talked to her in the hospital & she seemed to get better just over the couple of days I was able to spend time there. They released her earlier than expected, I take this as a good sign. Janet is going to stick around, another good part of the year.

Through my newer northwest friends I have gotten to meet many of what I consider to be some of the best people, this year. The only comparison I can make is to my Arizona friends who to my view could have never been bested as far as being stand up quality people. Don't get me wrong, I know all my friends are weird & that is what I love about them. The one thing about the Phoenix crew & the Northwest people I now know is they are all true, no fakes.

The people I did not lose this year outnumber the people I did lose by many times. These really changed my view on this year. There have been some up's & down's but overall this has been a good year. 2008 will be even better because no one is going to die, that is my new years wish.

Zombies vs The Go! Kids- Dream #8

The eccentric old science teacher was standing outside the door, anonymously watching the science class struggle with the assignment he had given them. As the student argued over the right way to complete the assignment, he checked their progress by the scents coming from under the door. Inside a light green fog came up, some of the students wandered in circles. some tried to run and fell, one dove through a glass window but still failed to get away from the light green fog. The teacher was oblivious to anything but the scents emanating from the science class. "Sulfur, Actinium, Gallium he said aloud, Then Arsenic matter-of-factly, then Arsenic repeated in alarm. He ran to the deans office without checking on the students. After hearing what scent had come from the class, the dean called up his security & directed them to have the 2 guards from the front gate go to the classroom & shoot the students. The guards obeyed & must have known to be prepared for this contingency. The dean & the Science teacher grabbed a key from a safe & headed to a section of the campus that was wooded & remote. There they approached a large set of copper doors at the bottom of a sloped entry way. The slope was steep, as if the entry would continue down beyond the doors to a deep subterranean level. The dean had called in more security on the way to the copper doors & had them line up to fend off anyone that would be coming to the doors. He inserted the key but did not unlock the doors, he was checking to insure they were locked. He then gave the key to the largest & strongest security guard for safe keeping. The students from the Lab began wandering toward the door. They were in a daze as if hypnotized & drawn to the copper doorway. Other students began coming too, the light blue cloud had floated to other areas of the campus, affecting others as well. The guards shot them as they came & were having no problem keeping them away from the doors. The wind shifted, small particles of the light blue cloud, barely noticeable, floated across the large security guard. He disappeared down by the door. The dean looked around & realizing the guard was gone went down to the doors only to find them open. He immediately shut them & locked them. A minute later the doors were broke open with one hit from the inside & the large guard bolted faster than a cheetah out of the hole. He attacked the 1st person he came to & ripped them to pieces. He ate them in just moments. This broke up the line of the other security guards & the dazed students began filing down the hole. The large security guard would grab one at random as they filed by & rip them to shreds eating them as well. The students approached what was once a chemical barrel but the top had disintegrated & it now resembled a cauldron with a steamy burbling concoction brewing. The students were drawn to it & took handfuls into their mouths, they immediately went into convulsions on the ground as their bodies almost instantly changed taking on traits of the dead but increasing their size & strength 10 fold. As they were complete in their transformation they shot out of the hole taking down anything that moved except for others that had already drank from the cauldron, they even took down others who were entranced by the light blue cloud & on the way to the cauldron. Outside the dean headed around the corner of an old building, he knew he would have time to get away as long as there was a steady stream of people filing towards the doors to keep the beasts fed. He knew that respite would not last long & they would be spanning out in all directions searching for more victims to eat. He ran out of view away from the mele. Through the woods & along a river he ran as fast as he could. The scenery was beautiful, he knew they would be attracted more to the populated areas of town so he remained in the areas with little or no people. Once he came out of the woods, several hours later in another town, he went to a street corner to try to catch a ride. There was already a hitchhiker there that refused to give up his spot in line for the next ride, no matter how much the dean expressed the emergency nature of his travels. The hitchhiker took the next ride. The dean saw the hitchhikers blood splash across the back window. He knew he had been beaten to town by the creatures. He ran along past road food establishments like A&W Root beer & Taste-T-Cream. He came to a girl who was walking along the highway, he asked her how to get to the shipyard. She asked why he wanted to go there. He explained he had to meet some friends there & then try to find a way out onto the ocean to head overseas. She asked him if he was an experienced seaman, he said no. "How do you expect to get a job if you don't know anything about being a seaman?" she asked. He said then he will just have to stow away. She directed him & he headed that way. An odd kid was skateboarding by, the dean recognized him because of the oddness & called out to him. He stopped & was informed by the dean about what happened. They went separate ways, the dean to his attempts to go overseas & the kid to a brick building on a side street not far from where they met. Once inside The kid approached a group of odd looking kids of all strange shapes & sizes wearing uniforms labled The Go! Kids. After explaining to the unruly group the situation they all let out with a giant robot to a fortress in the hills. There they began jumping up & down yelling into a camera for the occupant to let them in. The occupant was hesitant & asked who they were again, the skateboard kid said "Aw cum on doc let us in, you know who we are" the gates opened. Once inside they proceeded down a hallway, at one point the hall narrowed due to some sort of mechanism & the robot could not continue. The robot groaned his displeasure, the kids kept going without even looking back or addressing the bot. Once in the lab the doc had already been aware of what was going on somehow & had been working on some chemicals to try to combat it. He was not even close but had developed one that if ingested would make the zombies think you were already one of them, allowing you more opportunity to move about. He gave this to the kids. The team asked if it had been tested or not (it had not) they drank it anyway.

I woke up.

IMG_4223

IMG_4223
Originally uploaded by corneilius1968.

Sam (Nicole)

The last thing Sam said to me was "you know I love you, right?" & hugged me hard like she always did. She knew she made me feel uncomfortable when she did this & I alway pulled away. She knew though that I loved her, even though her closeness she put out made me uncomfortable because she was Johnathan's girlfriend. She alway would revel in my shyness or embarrassment & made a point of hugging & kissing me in front of everybody. I think she just liked to torture me. Even though she loved to torture me I know she loved me too. I love many people & love them more than they know because I am not good at expressing it. She knew me though & could see right through me & knew my true feelings. I don't know how & don't even understand why she loved me so much. I even went out of my way to piss her off & succeeded, she was like the family pet though, no matter how much I tried to piss her off & distance her she knew who I was & how I felt & kept working to break me down. There has only been 2 people in my life that could tell exactly who I was & how I felt without question, Maggie & my mom. Sam is the 3rd & I realized this only the night before the last night I saw her. I can say without question that no matter what I have been loved by at least 3 people in my life, these three loved me unconditionally & I still do not understand any of them. My mom, it seems obvious that she would have to but with what I put her through my whole life, if I was in her place I would have strung me up & killed me. Maggie I still do not understand why she loves me but it probably has something to do with the same way I feel about her, I have no idea why I love her but I do unconditionally & forever. Sam the same thing & now that she is gone I don't even understand how I can imagine life without her. She was not just a part of my life, or Seattle. She was an energy in the world.

My Run In With The Law

The bar in Ballard closed at 2am & all the drunks were asked to leave in the typical friendly way by the Tin Hat bartender, "Last call, drink em' up & get the fuck out" It was a long & liquid night at the bar, many drinks were had. So upon entering the real world my mind went to deciding on what kind of mayhem I could cause. The first victims were the sandwich boards advertising the local business, those things tend to piss me off when I'm drunk. They all ended up in someones front yard that night. Since then they have all been taken inside each night at closing time for the business. I could have told them long ago that it was wise to bring in the sign nightly, obviously they needed an example of why. I was happy to oblige.

The next victim was a typical garden hose, made in China I suppose? This garden hose left crossing the sidewalk & out into the median grass was rudely blocking my path & had to be dealt with in an immediate & decisive manner. The hose was tied in knots around several vehicles on the block linking them all together & blocking the street. That will teach that damned hose from getting in my drunken path.

The City of Seattle may have learned a lesson this night as well. Cement them street signs into the ground. It is amazing just how far a street sign can be thrown & just how loud it is upon crashing back to earth. I always thought stop signs were the best, this night however I found that the ones with the big yellow triangle reflectors are actually the ones that fly the farthest & make the most noise.

There it was, right in front of me. Calling to me like an apparition in the darkness. It had to be done! There was no way I could resist. The flag pole in the middle of that well kept yard was just too much temptation for my drunken mind. My underwear were going to be flying proudly in the wind this very night. I dropped drawers & took off my smiley face polka dotted boxers. I knew the others with me well & so was not bashful of my nekkidness. Besides I was drunk & really wouldn't have cared who watched. I put my pants back on & hoisted the boxers to the top of the flag pole. Cheers went up from the crowd of 2, they had been tagging along the whole time, enjoying my antics. This however was the main show, I was proud of my successful venture and stood back admiring the new flag. The pole was in complete darkness except for the very top which was highlighted by a street light on the next street over. My underwear glowed in the night as bright as day. It was a beautiful sight.

We wandered on, there is one of those triangle street signs, OK so I did the grand finale already but I just couldn't resist one more toss. This one went up & over my head right out into the street. It was beautiful & loud. The Red & Blues of the Seattle Police Department came on down the road. I was nabbed, pinched, caught, busted. I wondered what the fine was for sign tossing. I wondered how I would explain my sport of sign tossing to the officers. The car got to my location & from several different directions so did 5 other cop cars. Light & Sirens blaring & they all poured from their cars screaming for me to get on the ground. Wow! they really like their street signs in this city.

My friends had been following at a distance all night, at this time they had gone ahead about 40 yards. The cops having me now in cuffs so I couldn't get away and toss anymore signs asked if I knew those people. "I have no idea who those guy's are. Did they do something wrong? It has nothing to do with me". This tactic did not work, the cops were in fact there for me. They didn't pursue my friends who went around a corner then snuck back behind some bushes to watch the rest of my nights entertainment.

Six of the cop's sat me on the ground & started yelling at me in unison. "Where is the flag" When I say yelling, I should explain this. They were pissed & spitting while they yelled. Some had obviously been military Sargent's because boy could they yell. I was sitting there & the only thing I could think at this time was, how the heck did they not see me toss that sign? After some more yelling & me not answering because my head was somewhere else, I thought what the heck are they talking about. Obviously I had said this out loud because I was hoisted from all sides & dragged about 7 houses back to the flag pole. The flag that was on that pole, they said. Oh I thought, that. Being sure to keep this thought inside. "I have no idea what you guy's are talking about."

At this point the shortest cop with the largest attitude came up to me & screamed, vibrating with anger. Tell us where the god damned flag is. I thought, again keeping it inside this time, they must think there was a flag that was taken down and replaced with my underwear. It is recently after 9-11 & nationalism is very high right now. Am I getting busted for being a flag burning terrorist? I said I'm sorry sir, I have no idea what you are talking about. The cop said I am not a sir I am a maam. This shocked the hell out of me, I was speechless, There was no way this cop was a maam. I guess I cracked a smile a bit because I caught hell for the next few minutes. I was asked another question that I don't remember and not thinking answered no sir. I was slammed to the pavement by this short cop who claimed to be a maam not a sir. The other cop's, even though pissed at me for being a flag desecrater, stopped her from continuing her assault. They picked me up & dragged me over to the flagpole & instructed me to lower my underwear from the pole. "Those aren't my underwear, I have no idea what you are talking about". The short cop, Maam, came over pulled my pants out to view my junk. She said you have no underwear on & expect us to believe those aren't yours? I told her I go commando & never wear underwear. She said you better not be lying, do you know what happens when you lie to an officer? I said no sir & was promptly slammed against the flag pole. The other officers removed Maam from my immediate space & took over. One officer asked, in a normal tone for the first time, take them shorts down from that pole. So I proceeded to lower my shorts from the pole. I felt sad that the world would not get to wake up to my grand polka dotted smiley face underwear in the morning. Those poor people would not get a nice morning laugh to start their day. What an injustice these officers were pulling on the people of the neighborhood. I got them down & thrust them to the cop who jumped back & said I don't want them, put em in your pocket. I said, OK but their not mine.

The other Police Officers that were there waking up & interviewing the neighbors & the owners of the flag pole found that the flag get's taken down & brought in each evening. They seemed to relax a bit when they found it was just a flag "pole" violator & not a flag violator they were dealing with. They told me I could go. So I went. Right as I got to the gate of my house a police car came speeding up with it's lights on. I stopped thinking they had changed their mind, OR had found the yellow street signs. One of the officers came over & handed me my ID which they had forgotten to give back to me.

My friends in the bushes came out & stated: "We can't believe you got away with that". I could believe it, I always get away with things somehow. My friend the Vampire says I have an army of Angels protecting me. We ended the evening by slam dancing around the living room to loud heavy metal music, drinking about 1/2 a bottle of whiskey, shooting off about 10 pounds of illegal fireworks in the front yard, & watching my roommates girlfriend do a striptease on the table.

Strange Visitor Dream #7

The point of light was so brilliant it seemed to cut space as it moved, however it did not hurt my eyes to look at it. The brilliance of it made the world around it seem dull. It was so small, barely the head of a pin. I never got his name but we conversed for quite awhile. He spoke softly & was intelligent. Our conversations though challenging were stimulating. I knew the conversations were all leading though. I could feel that he was playing me to get me to take him somewhere. I somehow felt that going there would be wrong. Maybe it was the way he was leading to that issue that made me realize it was not a good idea, was this a sign of his flaws in the conversation? Maybe there was another reason I didn't feel we should go? The conversation began to turn, he was somehow getting me to be drawn where he wanted me to go verbally. The most frustrating part of this was that I knew he was doing this & I knew he was beating me but could not do anything about it. I continued to try, change the subject, offer a different point of view, disagree with a completely logical fact. He did not play into my word games & continued to drag the conversation to what his real intention was. He wanted to go somewhere. He needed me to get him there. I wondered why he would need me, he floated around just fine & was not at the mercy of the breeze. He went where he wanted. He was small enough to get through anything. Why does he need me. I thought about asking this but then realized we were now on the road in my pickup driving through unfamiliar territory. The conversation challenge continued, even though I was being manipulated it was a pleasure to have these discussions. We arrived, some people came running out waving their hands, not in welcome but in the go away don't come here way. One bearded bald man came running up & told be to take the point of light back, it could not be here, that would be very dangerous & they had taken the point of light to where it was originally for this very fact, somehow it became my job to take the point of light away from here. I lost to it already, I don't know what makes them think I can keep him away, what is he being kept from anyway?

The Heaviest Thing I Have Ever Moved

A friend donated this old freezer to the Liberty House. We went to pick it up in downtown Seattle in an alley. I lifted on the side to test the weight & found it taking all my strength to lift just one side. There was about 2 gallons of water from the melted ice in it & even though it would make no real noticeable difference to the amazing weight this thing has, I figured no additional weight was needed. I lifted the side up & placed it on it's side enough to let the water out. After letting it down, I had serious reservations about this venture. I wandered back & forth looking at the van we had to get it to & the place it lay. We decided to try it & used the strength of 2 people & walked each corner forward, one side at a time. This got it to the gate. Time to stop & calculate again, large freezer for the house, or continued pain free back & knees for a few more years. We went for the freezer & the pain. We hefted one end, the light end into the van, I then shouldered the other end into the van. This is truly the heaviest object I have ever moved. We still need to get it out when we get home too.

It may just seem like water & rocks,
But this is the spot where my friends Tom&Becky
Tied the Knot

Aliens Invade Tom&Becky's Wedding Reception

The fire was hypnotizing, or the mass quantities of booze I consumed may have also contributed to my general malaise. Out of the darkness something large came charging at us. It had maneuvered itself behind us & gotten close enough that there was no way for us to have reacted before it came upon us in all it's fury. I heard the bark of a fallen tree give way & heard a moment of silence from the rushing beast, I felt this was it he had launched & would drop on me before I could react. There was a large thump as the body of the intruder fell to the ground. Then silence & more silence. I said to the others with me that I think our attacker has hurt itself. I proceeded to go see what it was & what condition it was in. There on the other side of the log lay an alien man, a drunk alien man, who when asked if he was OK responded by yelling unintelligibly & waving his fingers at us in a menacing way. We figured he was OK & walked back to the camp. One girl wandered further into the woods to take a leak. It turns out 2 other aliens had been hiding in the woods & she came & peed right beside them. They kept quiet because by the time they figured out what she was doing, they felt it would have been inappropriate to jump out of the bushes & scare her. As they watched her walking back to camp they saw the drunk injured alien tackle her & saw that she was extremely displeased with this event. Alien #2 Utah came out in time to get between the 2 knowing that drunk alien did not make the best decision in tackling a lone girl in the woods right after she had just peed. Josh also came out but wandered past to join us in drinking around the fire. They had originally left while many people were around with the intent to wander the forest scaring people with their alien outfits, while on their mission most of the camp went to sleep. Upon return only our small band of drinkers around the fire remained as we had just returned from a night hike to a bridge where a police officer had stopped us to make sure we were not intending a group suicide. The outfits they had on were red duct tape holding the used table cloths from the wedding reception wrapped all around their bodies with ferns stuck in at ridiculous angles & places. They were wearing the round Japanese style lantern cover balls on their heads with pieces torn out for the eyes. Utah having a serious conversation with the girl in the woods trying to calm the situation did not quite strike her as an effective moderator. The girl seemed to become more furious as this alien tried to tell her the other was just drunk & hey it's just a party & no one got hurt, all this coming out of a Japanese lantern ball did not calm the situation. The drunk alien wandered off, that separation worked to calm the girl. Josh had helped with the drunk aliens outfit & had used a whole roll of duct tape on him just for the fun of it. Drunk alien could not get out of his outfit. The aliens decided to disrobe from their spacey uniforms due to the excessive heat & restriction of them. Drunk alien could not get out after about 15 minutes of trying, (this had kept us completely entertained), he had not succeeded in getting any of it off. He asked for help. We started pulling at it but everyone was doing it at once, in different directions & instead of tearing off it stretched & constricted in areas, he pushed us off as we started to choke him with his own space suit. We went back in with a better strategy to all pull in the same direction. This worked even though it took a long time & involved drunk alien being knocked down into the mud & picked up several times during the process. The aliens were freed of their spacey garb & now will blend in perfectly with the normal humans.

Moonshine

Want a little free moonshine? There is some waiting for you just over there. He was very familiar. I couldn't place him though, I was not falling for the chasing the moonshine gag. I knew that I would run over there looking all around for Moonshine, just to find moonbeams, shining through the trees, lighting up the muddy path & making it look beautiful even though it is mud. A decided she would pursue the shine. I let her go & turned my attention to the Inkwell Rhythm Makers as they picked, plucked, & scratched through some sinner music meant to save the soul but with the unintended consequences of making you want to drink large quantities of Moonshine. Other Jug band players took the stage, I went to see how A was doing chasing after moonbeams. She was standing up against a small table. It looked like a magicians table full of tricks to astound & amaze you. There was a mason jar & 3 small glasses, each of a different make. A song about whiskey drifted over the mud trail from the jug band. The fella, looked up as he poured out a golden smooth liquid that I could taste as it fell from the mason to the used dirty cup. My mouth watered, he looked up & said these magic words & waved his hands over the magicians table, would you like some of my Moonshine? I didn't have to answer, the cup was raised to my hand. I thanked him, put the cup to my lips & slowly without stopping but without shooting the liquid gold, savored the whole glass. Smooth as the bottom of a worn out shoe, smooth as the back of a pretty girls knee, smooth as the edge of a murderers knife. This was the most delicious liquid that has ever draped itself across my tongue. This was a proud man, South Carolinian man, he was sharing his Moonshine with no other intended results but the satisfaction of seeing us enjoy his amazing liquid. He was not selling or marketing, he was not promoting anything else by providing free moonshine, you wouldn't dare do those sort of things with this, the liquor of the god's. This potion can only be shared with the true desire to spread happiness & this true gentleman & his beautiful girl were there to see that happiness imparted to several of us by passers as we walked in the mud and danced to the devil's music.

Goin To The Fair

I got a ticket lined up just days before the fair. I don't have anywhere to camp & have no parking pass. I am going anyway & will work out the details later. I have lined up someone to loan me a sleeping bag & a tent that is already there. I also have a few cases of beer being purchased for me & held there, I am unsure if I will be able to find any of this when I get there. I'll just go on faith that something will work out & I have slept outside on the ground with no blankets before, so no big deal. If it get's real cold I can always go hang out in the showers for a few hours till it warms up outside.

F#@%&n Hippy Festival

The Country Fair sucks. No in itself attending the event is quite fun. It sucks the life out of you trying to attend the son of a bitch. Hippy politics, crazy people, capitalists, procrastinators, nepotism, & just plain pain in the asses, all transpire to make it as difficult as possible. 1st you have an invite, then you don't. Then you get the call a ticket is available, then you find out it was given away 2 hours before because you were supposed to have the message a week ago that you just got last night. Then someone wants an extra amount of money than the tickets actually cost. Then if you get a ticket you don't know what you have to do when you get there or where you will be able to stay, or if you will be able to park anywhere close enough to offload your gear. I may have a ticket now but even here I am not getting my hopes up. If I do get a god damned ticket those fuckin' hippies better be ready for some major harassment this year. Last years tricks I played on those hippies will be nothin' compared to what they will get this year just to release all this negativity & spiritual blockage caused from all this hassle the man has brought down on me just trying to get there. Sorry I had to speak hippy there so they could understand.

Poached Fish? A Spare Rib? Some Pussy In The Garden? & A Neck Penis? Just some memorable moments from the Liberty House Wednesday Bar-B-Que

Wedding Day Blues

The fact that the wedding happened in the mouth of an active volcano foreshadowed the rest of the day. Granted there was no fiery explosions nor was there any lava, but the fact that it was there, miles underground, waiting to explode, must send up vibrations to infuse all those around with the fiery emissions of the mouth of hell. These hellish infusions sent all exposed, & even some slightly connected over a far distance, into an uncommon anger.

What a beautiful setting for a wedding B... & B... looked so at ease, a far departure from the stress levels of the bride & grooms of other weddings I have attended. B... Did scrunch up once as if fighting back tears, he was all puffed up like an angry turkey or a cold cat. The tux definitely made him capable of this as there is not enough flesh on him to puff up without the tux. The caldera was filled with green grass & thousands of dragonfly's hovering above it as if it were their lawn. Children dressed up like some 1800's Southern high class family, were busy trying to catch the dragonfly's while at the same time trying not to trip over the volumes of clothing they had been inserted into & told not to mess them up.

The trees seemed to reach far higher up to the heaven's here, they begin their growth on the rim of the caldera, us being down in the depression are about 50 feet below their root base. This is the case on mountains as well but you normally have an angled distance to those. These went right up out of the wall of the volcano. It was a different & a beautiful thing.

The wedding was running about an hour behind schedule, the location made it so no one really cared. If not for being here for a wedding, it is a place most of us would probably come to hang out & do exactly what we are doing now, Only we would have on far fewer articles of heavy clothing. Our friend L... seemed to be enjoying herself but I could tell she was suffering from the heat & direct sunlight. L... has dark black skin, I imagine she feels like I would had I wore a black outfit. The sweat pouring off of her was like a constant drizzle of mist, even the handkerchief given to her was not keeping up with the job. L... is extremely well endowed, in that her breasts are enormous. The heat & sweat was playing havoc with the double sided tape she had used to keep her breasts inside the sheer outfit she was wearing. I watched with fascination for much of this down time at her attempts to keep her top on. The whole time I was routing for the sun & sweat.

The rumors abounded as to why the wedding was starting so late. Some were better than others, but none were as good as the 2 reasons that caused the wedding to still be on hold. The typical rumors were the cold feet syndrome, the preacher was late, clothing malfunctions, etc. In actuality 2 things happened. First of all the best man V..., who had come all the way from California for the wedding, had stopped off at an adult store he does business with in his career down in California. He ended up having sex with one of the adult entertainers at the porn store. This is the actual reason he was late. You may think this is a valid reason to be late & may even say you would have done the same thing. What you have to realize is that the porn store & the entertainers there are not, & I do mean Not! attractive, erotic, or sexually exciting at all. This is a place where porn addicts go & where junky prostitutes work. He obviously did not have to pay but you are allowed to turn down gift's in America, unlike some other cultures where the refusal of acceptance would be a great disrespect, here he should have taken advantage of the open culture we have here & simply said no way in hell.

V... finally showed up a little over an hour late, Still no start in sight for the wedding. Apparently the time V... delayed opened up another issue that would not have come up had he been on time. The bride locked herself in the car with the only set of key's. No she did not get cold feet to marry the groom. She read through her vows and decided that these items she was attaching herself to for the rest of her life were not the ones she was willing to commit to. The crowd insured her that they were beautiful vows & would work just fine. She refused to come out. They decided it would be best to remove themselves & allow her time to think it through & they were sure she would decide they were fine. They were wrong, she did finally emerge, with a new set of vows that she had decided she could live with.

The wedding was so short that the delay was actually a necessity to insure no one claimed it was too short. The wedding lasted all of about 10 minutes. Not one person made comment to the lack of substance. All were satisfied that the hour & a half spent in a beautiful piece of God's work, waiting, added just the right amount of sanctity to the union.

We moved over to another area of the forest where the 1st of 2 receptions was happening. The groom had the advantage over most grooms of working in the food industry. All of the food & the cooks & servers were volunteer, or in exchange of a wedding present. This was not only the fanciest wedding spread I have ever attended, but was definitely in the top 2 or 3 food events I have attended. I can't even pronounce most of the items they were serving. They had all the meat groups at once that is rare at weddings, you normally choose one. They had chicken, kalbi beef, seafood, oysters, ceviche, fried duck skins to carry a duck meat something or other that was like a spread & was very tasty. There was prosciutto wrapped scallops, lot's of fresh fruits & salads, grilled vegetables hot off the grill, all kinds of sauces, there was an orange ginger one that I really liked. It was made for an organ meat thing, stuffed kidney I think, they had that I didn't like. I just used the sauce on bread.

S.. was going to the car for some type of illicit activity. V.. went along. While there V.. decided to drink a protein powder drink. He could not insert the protein powder into the water bottle so he pulled out his box cutter & began to cut the top of the plastic bottle off. As he circled the bottle with the razor, he came around right through the vein in his wrist. It immediately shot blood out all over the back of a brand new, rented, vehicle. Add to that the dropped bottle of water mixing with the whole jar of protein powder. The back of the car & the ground outside looked like the scene of a drug deal murder with the powdered drugs & the blood spilled all around. I tied a tourniquet of one of his own socks off his foot around his wound, the flow was stopped & no further medical assistance was needed other than some antibiotic ointment and a real bandage.

A conversation after this event sparked the rest of the insanity that continues for the rest of the day & into the early morning hours of the following day. S.. in shock from all the blood was on the verge of losing her lunch, S.. decided to push her buttons at this time not knowing how hard she was just trying to keep it together, she blew up. The cake cutting ceremony, cakes also fancier than any ever & made for free by friends, was corny but went well, until the bride did something odd. There were 3 men there she thought were cute & all just happen to be wearing black wife beaters under their shirts. I said out loud that there must have been a sale on them at K-Mart. The bride gathered the 3 men together had then strip off their jackets & button up shits to pose in suggestive poses with her, all three of them at once. Now at the bachelor et party this was acceptable behavior, however she is now a married woman by just a few minutes & her new husband hasn't even finished the piece of cake they cut together. This prompted some excitement between the wedding party. We cut out.

There was the second 1/2 of the reception that was to happen at a bar they had reserved the upstairs of for this evening. Between the forest & the second 1/2 our friend S.. got in a physical fight with his girlfriend l.. This with all of us in the car as passengers & with us watching as we come a hairs width from driving up the side of a city bus. He stops as we yell about the bus, freaks out, gets out of the car in the middle of the intersection & leaves. He was the driver. Key's were still there, his girlfriend was hysterical, I hopped in & drove us to another friends house to bring down the level a bit with lot's of vodka. Those friends of mine were invited along to the reception & we headed out with a plan to stop off at a different bar along the way. S.. & J.. got into it when we got lost walking around the neighborhood where both bars were located but could not locate them. J.. walked off & left her, he is from another city, we had no clue how he would expect to get around or get home. I took us all to a bar I knew in the area. We had a good time at this bar & while not paying attention both missing men who had run off during arguments appeared here & everyone was getting along fine now, I figure their issues & directions on in to where were currently were happened on the phone in the restrooms.

We got to the reception area & along with a mass amount of people, at least 40, more than enough to constitute filling the reservation of the top level of the bar. The bar had decided because they had a large amount of other customers to ignore the reservation & open up to the public those areas that were to be reserved. This spurned more fighting with the wedding party, the family, the waitresses, the bartenders, and strangers. My friend L.. got cut off right away, partially because of the level of aggression in dealing with the bar's poor decision making & partially because of the mass Vodka we had consumed at E..'s house earlier. This prompted him to get in a massive fight with his ex. We brought in the leftover wedding cake, placed in on a pool table & proceeded to try to have a reception with some toasts to people who had helped with all of the arrangements & to those who came from far away to honor the union. Unfortunately it was not received well & some who had put the most time & financial efforts into this did not feel they got the gratitude they deserved. More arguments broke out as they grumbled & their significant others tried to bring them down before they opened up in public & embarrassed themselves & everyone else, especially their significant other. Those all came across as couples fighting, I overheard all of the happenings & know that it was a growing undercurrent of mass dissatisfaction. This was clearly the vibrations from the volcano coming to a head.

I had to get out, I got E.. & her husband T.. & talked them into leaving & going over to their house. I figured these were the best people to end up with since they were friends of mine I had dragged along to the bar but were not part of the guest list. On the way out L.. was embroiled in an all out argument with one of her 2 ex's who were there. Her other ex was drunk & insisting on returning to her place where his bike was. She talked me into taking him along as she lived by E.. & T.., I was to take drunk L.. to her house so he could get his bike & leave & then I was going to exit over to E.. & T..'s to finally have some fun without the insanity. When we got drunk L.. to the house for his bike he refuses to leave. Him & I go way back & this was new, I told him don't fuck with me, this is not my house I can't let you stay here & it was a favor to you & the resident to get you here. I told him to wait out front & if the resident wanted to let him stay there when she got home then that was up to her. He refused to leave, I grabbed his bike & threw it out the front door, he attempted to kick me in the nut's so I picked him up & threw him on top of his bike. I locked the door & left with E.. & T..

On the way to E... & T...'s house, E... asked T.. "Why were you looking up at the neighbors window earlier?" Just matter of factly, but with some sinister intent. T... stiffened up immediately, telling me he knew what she was talking about, he know what he did was wrong, & may have even done more than was exposed & will now have to try to lessen the blow. E... went on to say she saw the girl across the street changing in front of the window the other day with the curtains open while T... was outside their apartment smoking. Apparently neighbor girl is putting on shows for E...'s new husband, & E's new husband is not only not looking away but is covering it up. E... began questioning if he had had relations with neighbor girl & if that is why she put's on the striptease for him nightly from across the street? We pulled up to the house at this time, E... not getting an answer of any type from T... got out of the car & shot straight toward neighbor lady's house screaming home wrecker, T... headed her off, she fought like a demon & made it to home wreckers front door, woke her up as it is now about 1:45am, and proceeded to challenge her to all of the real or imagined infidelities between her husband & home wrecker. I walked over to E... & T...'s home, walked in & took an unopened bottle of rum & a 12 pack box of Pabst that only had 4 beers in it, shoved the bottle of rum in the 12 pack box & wandered off while they continued their neighborly discussions..

I am miles away from my car, with no place to stay at 2am in the morning in a city I don't live in & every one of the people I know has been in some sort of altercation & are probably still embroiled. I remembered that TP... had not gone to the wedding, only his girlfriend had attended he had to work. I called him, his girlfriend had beat me there & they were in an argument so I could not come over & frankly did not want to. I proceeded to walk in the direction I thought my car was in & drank my bottle of rum with Pabst chasers.

My car was outside L... house where I had tossed drunk L.. who was gone now, She drove up as I was getting to my car, Even though she had been in arguments with 2 ex boyfriends, none of them were there & I was invited to sleep there & figured all the negative volcanic arguments were over. J..&S.. showed up & needed a place to stay, L... agreed & they came in, went up stairs & proceeded to get into a shouting match about J... pulling the fire alarm at the bar we were all at earlier, apparently things went even farther down hill than when I left. S.. was pissed that they almost got in trouble with the fire department but no one actually saw who did it, I was wondering why they were still there when the fire department pulled up, apparently others who were getting rides with them were outside with the rest of the patrons of the burning building. Only they were fighting about who was going where. "You are coming home tonight" "I am not going back home with you I never want to see you again" etc. So while we were listening to this & watching early morning cartoons, Drunk L.. shows back up & starts pounding on the door. My choices: Go out & pound on him some more, Leave again & sleep in my car, Tell L... to go to bed & ignore Drunk L... I did the last one, she was drunk enough by now to go to bed & Drunk L...'s pounding's did not bother her. I drank rum until I could not hear anything either.

Feeble Bat (Dream #6)

Do you think this will be done in time for us to get to the beer store before it closes? I don't know are we almost out of beer? Yes, I have tequila but no more beer. Who is going to go? We can't leave before T brings up the ceremonial raft. Look over there T is not even down getting ready yet, this may take longer than we have to get more beer! Others are milling around the rafts covered with trinkets & flowers as if they are getting ready but none will move until T PREPARES.

I need Tequila. Inside this house many others are scattering around the maze of connecting doorways looking for their nook to call their own part of the house. All rooms connect in odd way's through many doors. Most rooms have to be crossed through to get to others. The idea of privacy is out the window. Many doors lead to stairwells some of which shrink out of sight, impossible to pass. I slide open a door & enter a dark room, drafty, dusty, exposed boards, it smells of old paint, this is the perfect room for me.

Over a ledge in the room I find a large green fluffy bat hanging upside down. He completely ignores me as if I were not there. He looks like a Muppet, or better yet a feeble. I watch him for a minute to gauge if my claim to the room will be challenged by him. He was there first. It seems we can live in unison & share the room.

Giggling seeps through the cracks in the wall. I slide open one of the many doors & entrance upon 2 girls embraced. Nice, I like this house, slightly embarrassed but unable to avert my eyes, I back slightly, apologetically. The Asian one says don't worry you can watch if you like & rises to cross the room. She is wearing a pair of army khaki shorts that look to have met up with a lawn mower. How they stayed on I don't know but I was willing to examine them thoroughly until I found the answer. She had the firmest set of bun's I think I have ever seen & walked away from me but with her head turned towards me to watch & insure I was following her with my eyes. It was obvious she wanted to keep my attention, but beyond that I would have to go through the whole game to see what's up.

I Feel Like S#$*

Warm air today feels so good. I can feel the rays of the sun penetrate my skin & go to work on whatever ill has the chock hold on me. Warm is overpowered by cold in these Northwest lands. The cold seems to be fighting for control of me. It comes to tickle my throat & set me to a fit of coughing. As cold falls back laughing, warm comes to sooth all she can before cold comes to her senses & fights back in to set me to coughing again. Why cold do you hate me today? What did I ever do to you? As others complain about you I've stood behind you. I tell em' the cool air is refreshing & feels good. I like the cool moist breezes. Why, when I need warmth to sooth my shredded lungs & throat won't you back me? Is it some larger war between hot & cold? Is it the "nuthin' personal bud, but...." situation. Couldn't you lay off for just a day or so to let me get better? Maybe I'm talking to the wrong side. Maybe I should be ganging up with warmth to send you packin'. You know we got this thermostat thing, all it takes is a little shift of the dial & warmth will have complete control of this whole area. How'd you like that huh? No, OK then just back off for a little while, I feel like shit.

Quotes-Not-Quotes

As I look Back
Or perhaps you could
Call it
Puppy Dog Love
As a child
(Last year
Nothing:
Characteristic of one's time
All I have to say about structure
Does it matter which?
Kansas Has this about it.
That music is simple to make
It was a pleasure
And now
This is a pleasure
I remember loving sound
Before I ever
I was talking
For a long time.

Lines taken at random from "Lecture on Nothing" By John Cage.

Cool Quote #1

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

As quoted in Richard Dawkins' Eulogy for Douglas Adams

Horror (Dream #5)

I have challenged her before, I can't believe my greed. I am willing to challenge her again. No one has ever beaten her. No one but me has ever gotten away with their life after taking her on. But no one, not even me has beaten her. I can't pass up the challenge. Others around me are following & are willing to take her on too. They are emboldened by my willingness to try again. I should tell them that I am likely going to die, that the odds are against me & that I am absolutely insane to even try again. I should but I will not. I hope God forgives me & understands that I have not pushed anyone else to do this, in fact I have not even made the suggestion. I am without blame for their stupidity. I however can use the distraction that their bodies will supply as she takes her time & pleasures herself as she loves to do with the tearing & ripping away of the flesh from the soul in a long joyous sigh. I must remain at the back of the pack. I can not allow them to look at me as their leader. They are brave but vain they must want to beat me to the prize & jump in head first to the hell on earth no one believed existed.

Tying my shoe I notice the strands in the string. Browned from the earth I have wandered. I wonder as I view what is perhaps my last vision of life on earth, where I have been & what piece of that past is coming along with me to my doom. Have I the right to bring along even the smallest piece of this life to the hell I am voluntarily entering. That piece of sand. That night on the beach with Beth, as the chill air came in she leaned in close to warm herself on my chest. I could smell her breath, feel the beat of her heart in her fingertips as they tucked into the fold of my arm. What right have I to drag that piece of sand that fond memory into this. If I was a moral man I would enter naked with only my fragile skin to protect me. I need these shoes, I need every edge I can get. I am sorry Beth but I need to throw you to the mouth of hell to get what I am here for.

I breath the air, I can feel life in this air. Pungent, musty, stale, it is still life, decay is life. Through this passage before me there is no life in the air. I remember when I was there as I breathed it was an experience like no other, the complete absence of life even just in the air. The complete absence of feelings other that terror, pain, & horror. The pain was so overwhelming it made me start to giggle, then laugh out loud, I got so high I couldn't see straight. It was a beautiful feeling. Pure unlike life that is a constant mix, convoluted, unsteady & confusing. Is my willingness to return here really based on greed? Could it be that I am looking for that purity I found only here. Could it be that in itself purity is our ultimate achievement even when that purity is pure pain, pure horror, pure fear?

Blood on my shoestring. I brought these same shoes with me the last time I was here. Could it be possible to come out this time with the purity I think I am seeking. Is there anyway to return with it. Is this the reality, I did not escape last time, I was left with this hunger to return, she has addicted me, I need my fix. I have no fear. For even a taste of what I need, a split second before I die it will be worth it. You win honey, I'm coming back.

Political (Sorry)

I apologize in advance. I generally try to stay away from political issues on my blog & use it more for fun or personal items.

In this case though I had to get it off my chest. I watched President Bush visit the Walter Reed Army Medical Center on March 30 2007. It took him over 5 weeks to get around to personally look into one of the most embarrassing mistakes happening under his charge. When you screw up & hurt other people thats one thing like in Iraq. In that case they are removed enough that the majority idiots of the country can look past it as if it were just another show on the television. This however is affecting his own people. This was not a surprise as most seem to think. The Veterans Administration has been making claims that the care for the returning Soldiers has been sub par since just a few months into the war. Unfortunately the Veterans Administration can't really get involved until a soldier is released from the Military. They can attempt political & media pressure but the Soldier is still owned by the Military. One of the claims is that Soldiers needing specialized care that the Veterans Administration is set up to provide, are held up in red tape keeping them under the Military s poor care for extended periods of time. What reason have they got not to discharge someone quickly into the hands of those that can properly care for them as soon as possible. My only thought is if you keep them in the Military you don't let as many of their horrific situations out to the public & the damage to these kid's is not so saturated through the media out to the country.

During President Bush's visit to Walter Reed Army Medical Center he met with many of the recovering Soldiers. As I watched him go from Soldiers missing arms to Soldiers missing legs I put myself in his shoes & asked how would I feel at that moment knowing that I had caused this kid to lose this arm or this leg or for that matter the life of the friends of theirs that were killed in the same tragedy that cost them their limb. I choked up but then looked up & saw President Bush playing with their prosthetics like it was a new toy. He seemed to look satisfied almost proud that he had the power to do this to people. He didn't show any regret or feelings of remorse at all.

He then spoke & stated that the Government would insure that these Soldiers get the treatment their families expect. He didn't say he would insure this or work on this himself, he said the Government. The President, whether it be Bush or any President has to take personal responsibility & personal involvement in a situation like this. President Bush did not. He stated that the care would be up to the level these soldiers families expect. Why not state that the care will be to his extremely high expectations of excellent care for the soldiers. Why put it off on others expectations, does he not have any expectations for the care of our people?

I Hate Poetry

I am writing this to see if anyone responds with suggestions of Poetry that I might like. I have found quite a few that I enjoy but for the majority of poetry I've seen it is a pure pain in my brain to read.

Adrian Mitchell wrote a Sunday Poem (to the Christians)
Excerpt:

Eat this: God has another place,
A goal-hole. Walls contract and crush
Necks on to legs, bellies into faces
And all parts in a constipated hash
Of cancered madmen, vomiting and skinned,
Skewered in flames which rot, restore and rot,
Breathing only the tear-gas of their sins -
That's what the bad dead get.

Don L. Lee wrote From A Black Perspective

Wallace for president
his momma for vice-president

was scribbled
on the men's room wall
on
over
the toilet

where
it's
supposed to be.


I like these and poems by Kenneth Patchen, many of the Beats & some crazy Japanese poetry. Maybe you have some other suggestions for me.

THE STINK WALL

Following the large horseflies around the basement, hoping they would lead me to the location of the smell of dead animal emanating from every direction. The stench was evil scientist amazing. With my red bandanna tied around my moth & nose, along with the Curious George flashlight, & the Taz Toes, I crept along. The Flies were no stool pigeons, they saw that I wanted to remove their meal ticket & were unwilling to give up the location. I followed but they led me astray, even to the point of sacrificing themselves to Castor & Pollacks by leaving the basement into the kitchen. The evil stench was like a ventriloquist, only instead of a voice it projected the smell, everywhere I went it would get stronger then weaker. A bout of ennui worked to resolve the hunt, all I had to do was feign interest, act wearied as if to give up and my nemesis came to me. Finally face to face with my nemesis did not equate to success, rather just the 1st part of the journey ended with the hard part to come. My nemesis found a lair deep within the walls of Liberty. With no fear of death or dead things & a very large hammer I pounded the hell out of the wall & removed the obstacle keeping me from resolving our smelly issue. Exposed like the Wizard in OZ, my prey was not to be feared. Through breaks in the wall I spied 3 bodies. In a rush as if they would get away I tore at the rest of the wall. They were not going anywhere. The family of rat's had come together in a group to die. There were many more exposed once the wall was completely removed. I gingerly removed their bodies from the wall, I had to do this by hand, no tool would get back to the crevice they had made their final resting place. I felt bad that I could not leave them in their chosen final resting place, unfortunately it stunk up the whole house. The children of the flies, Maggots, had already gone to work feasting on the bodies of the deceased. I reached in and scooped every last maggot out by hand. They would travel with their meal to their final resting place in the circle of life.

Dave

Dave was one of my best friends & I loved him. My favorite thing about Dave was that nothing was ever just "OK". Every new thing, every new place & especially every new person to Dave is "just the coolest! new thing", "just the coolest! new place", "the coolest! new person.

Dave calls me all the time to say "dude you gotta go to the place!" or "dude you gotta meet this guy!" "Kevin you would totally dig 'em"

Imagine being able to be that absolutely excited about every new place you go, every new thing you find, and especially every new person you meet. That would be pretty cool.

Dave did.

Mexico Day One

Day one as I remember it, not as it actually happened.

I needed to wake up early to catch a flight out to Mexico. I awoke about 3 hours before my alarm went off. I was up & down the stairs, in & out of my room, to the kitchen, through the living room, I had the excited energy of a kid waking up just after Santa arrived on Christmas morning. I heard other mouses stirring that early as well but was never in the same room as the scurrying sounds until about an hour and a half before our alarms were to blare. It turned out that Snowball & Evilcat were having the same tingle of excitement & were scurrying about as well. We packed our bags with the speed induced in someone who awakes to find they are just 30 minutes away from a leaving flight that takes 25 minutes to get to. We didn't need this speed but it was given gladly in the anticipation of the trip ahead.

We left to the airport with no problems except that the quick route to the airport was shut down for some sort of police activity. Checking bag's was a bit hectic but went smoothly for that sort of thing, I don't think that is supposed to be easy. On the way in we kept trying to decide if food was a priority or if duty free liquor & smokes took the lead. Those of you who know us have already figured out the answer. Those of you who don't know us that well need to spend more time with us. We entered the plane & sat at the gate for about an hour. The grumbling began, let's go take off already, we need the drink cart already. Finally in the air we got to cruising altitude but the drink carts were delayed to turbulence. I normally like the ride when the planes a bumpin, but I was hungry, stinking turbulence. OH YEAH! I just remembered I have 2 health bars in my coat pocket left over from the superbowl party at Anatomist's house. We split those 3 ways, it was like manna from heaven. It did not however quell the growling beasts in our bellies. We started contemplating which drinks will be most filling & have the highest nutritional value, Tequila and orange, Tomato & Vodka, Beer with a Tomato Chaser. We were praying for the drink cart to supply pretzels, peanuts, or some other snack. They did not, Evilcat spied something that looked like food in one of the stewardesses hands & asked for them, they were cookies, the stewardess said that another one would pass them out later after the drinks we demanded to have them now & scarfed them down with moans of pleasure.

Snowball opted for the filling combination of 2 micro beers, Evilcat drank something I cant remember, I will come back & fill in here after consulting with her. I opted for coffee with Kahlua & 2 tomato juices. Coffee for the hunger killing effect. We did another round of these food substitutes & were pleasantly satisfied for what we had. We still dreamed of food, real food, sat back & read to each other & had loud conversations to the dismay of one lame ass sitting a couple seats up & over. Too bad for him, we live life, we don't sit quietly through it to make others happy.

More on the trip later & I'll come back to correct errors later I am currently paying for this in Mexico & failed to ask the cost in advance, I'm in for it.

Until Someone Better Comes Along (Dream #4)

The tide went out farther than it has in centuries. The last time a tide was this low was during the reign of the Inca’s. I don’t know why the tide went out so far, some ponder that the moon is closing in on the earth & will soon have an intergalactic fender bender resulting in the largest insurance claim ever filed. Some insurance companies are reported to say they will not pay out even though this was not one of the exclusionary items in their policy. They say that the moon hitting the earth will cause worldwide earthquakes & volcanoes. Those along with tidal waves are excluded therefore no insurance claims will be paid.

The tide went down & I was admiring the carved figures in the sand, knowing better than to touch the priceless items. Thieves came down & started scooping handfuls of the carved figures. Some figures were crude, barely recognizable as their intended caricature. Others elaborate & although minute in size would have sent shivers down the spines of those closest to the originator of the figure. Some were flagstone, soapstone & other ornate but worthless stones. Some were the prized stones of alabaster, pink marble, even gold. Some people go too far in their tribute to the dead, but whatever makes them feel good.

I was possessed by the spirit of the protector & descended to the part of the stony, naked for the first time, beach where the collectors were beginning to reap their rewards. I swatted the priceless merch from their hands & blocked their passage towards any more of the treasure. Surprisingly they drew swords. I guess I miscalculated the worth of these treasures; however my possessor made me Aware that the protection of the symbols was worth the sacrifice of my life. So I defended & battled fiercely until the tide began to creep back in. Although some scoundrels absconded with the loot I was able to protect the majority of the tributes in their original place. The dead cheered me & passed praises on me & my family for eternity.

I clamored out of the tide which had an undertow that was beginning to overwhelm me. Some hand came down & helped me out of the cold water. I felt I had done a good deed but somehow felt that it was unimportant compared to the warm touch of live flesh of my friends and family. I decided Even if my creator & the spirits of all the dead called on me that I would remain here to support my friends and family, a much more valiant, immediate, & difficult job than honoring the dead. What worse could come of the dead, they are already dead. But the living, wow, that is a job for persons of true greatness. I don’t meet that calling, but until someone better comes along…….

I Can Cook!

There are some doubters out there on my culinary abilities. I do have the ability to throw together some hearty home style fare. Granted my eating habits do not generally border on the gourmet. I can get satisfaction from a can of store bought chili eaten cold right out of the can. My palate is indestructible & I can eat & enjoy anything. During the apocalypse I will do just fine eating whatever comes my way, while you finicky people will starve & die. However my post apocalyptic powers of survival do not preclude me from enjoying some good eats.

I do a mean bar-B-Q & make great Bloody Mary's. I delve into Japanese food & come out with Asian styled creations that would rival most of the bland Americanized Japanese restaurants. I pull my Asian style inspiration from authentic Japanese foods. I do a mean stir fry using leftovers & whatever is currently in the fridge. My Mexican food, spaghetti sauce, & chili are the specialties. You better like it hot though because you will be reminded of all 3 of my specialties the next morning in a very spicy way, if you know what I mean. My chili may just burn a hole right through you while you are eating it.

Don't judge my culinary abilities by the food I choose while drinking, although to me those are the perfect grubbing for that particular situation. Just wait until you get the opportunity to get fed the Kevinized way. You will be a happy camper, until the next morning's spicy constitutional that is.

My Dinner

Tonight at the Liberty Kitchen we served up a traditional Japanese country fare. We began with some crispy deep fried garlic flavored chips made with tapioca flour. These crispy jems pack a punch of garlic. You roll out the tapioca flour with just enough water to make the flour workable. I dampen my hands & roll, then dampen them again until just right. There is no way to overdo it with the water in this fashion. You then cover generously with garlic powder & let them dry completely. Heat enough oil in a wok to cover them by a few centimeters. I mix my oils to gain flavor. I use part olive, part hot chili, part sesame, and some vegetable. You then drop them in with enough space to grow they will plump up reminiscent of pork rinds, but are much lighter, crispier, & in my view, tastier.

Our next menu item was the cold soba noodles, served over ice in a strainer to let the melting ice drip away. These sweet noodles go perfect with a Japanese soba dipping sauce you can pick up in any asian style food store. Garnish with some Japanese style pickled vegetables & a quail egg & you have a perfect light appetizer before them meal.

For our main course we have sukiyaki beef cooked in a broth of ponzu sauce, which is a citrus vinegar, with some hot chili oil added in. Over this sprinkle some Japanese red pepper. Then pound sesame seeds into a fine liquid & add a little more sesame oil to thin it out. This is your dipping sauce for the thinly sliced beef. Heat this slightly in a pan, just to warm then place in a dipping bowl. Serve this with more Japanese pickles, I prefer the pickled eggplant with some ginger & beefsteak plant for flavor.

South of the Border

I Purchased plane tickets to Mexico for Evil Cat & I today. Will the trip be easy & comfortable? Will we be laying in the sun with Margareta's being carried out to us by beautiful tanned girls in short short skirts? Will the maid's come & clean our rooms of all our dirt & money while we are out riding air conditioned tour buses to destinations where we can shop for trinkets to our hearts delight?

Anyone who has traveled with me knows the answer to all those things is a definite & resounding no. You know I regularly travel without a place to stay set up & frequently sleep in parks, bushes, the occasional dumpster(mostly just those with cardboard, depending on how drunk I am). You know that I frequently disappear off on some adventure only to pop in at just the right time for a free meal & a beer. You know these trips always turn out much more interesting than anticipated because of the disorganized way in which I choose to travel.

Does this mean I will be fully prepared for all that will come at me? Hell no, I tend to obliviously get by in bad situations for some reason. My pure dumb luck somehow gets me out of some of the most perilous situations, even turning them from dangerous to rewarding. These very situations are what make travel exciting, Make me continue in this style of travel, & keep me from shying away from the more adventurous trips in exchange for the more comfortable.

Bullwinkle Head (Dream #3)

The line into the event was not moving at all. Apparently the venue was at maximum capacity for the Prince Charming concert. Everyone wants to see Prince Charming play live. I hear it is a spectacle of a lifetime, not soon to be forgotten. A limo pulled up, obviously special guests. The chauffeur opened the door & 2 radiant princesses came out. They are going to get in even though the rest of us peasants have to grovel in the line. Wait, they are not letting one of them in. The bouncer is pointing to the sign above the door. "No Bullwinkle Heads Allowed". What prejudice, What gall, she is a princess you know. The bouncer was not budging. Not willing to miss an event of this magnitude the other princess went in. The Bullwinkle headed princess did not.

The limo left with the Bullwinkle headed princess. A few minutes went by & the same limo pulled up. When the chauffeur opened the door this time a beautiful princess with an enormous nose appeared. As she passes I could see the edge of the Bullwinkle horns sticking slightly from the veil. I knew it was the Bullwinkle headed princess. I remained mute, I was rooting for her to get in even though I could not. The bouncer was not unwise & spotted the Bullwinkle headed princess right off. He was not harsh in his rejection but was unmoving in his stance. "No Bullwinkle Heads Allowed".

The limo left with the Bullwinkle headed princess. A few minutes went by & the same limo pulled up. When the chauffeur opened the door this time a beautiful princess with an enormous Humpback appeared. Humpbacks are definitely allowed in, In fact they always get priority seating when they arrive. I was thrilled to see a Humpback, let alone a Humpback princess. This made coming to the show worth it even if I don't get in. The bouncer asked for her ID, when she moved to look down into her purse a pair of Bullwinkle horns popped out of the hump. It was the Bullwinkle headed princess. I like her ambition. I truly believe with her determination that she would eventually get into the Prince Charming show tonight.

The limo left with the Bullwinkle headed princess. A few minutes went by & the same limo pulled up. When the chauffeur opened the door this time a beautiful princess with a long Giraffe Neck poked out. Wow, I have never even seen pictures of the Giraffe Neck's, let alone a princess of the Giraffe Necks. My year is made today, nothing can top this, not even getting into the Prince Charming show. The bouncer welcomed her, bowing & scraping the ground with his hat, even the unmovable rock of a bouncer was in awe that he was in the presence of the Giraffe Neck Princess. As she entered, the sign slung over the door that stated "No Bullwinkle Heads" whacked her in the head. The Bullwinkle horns popped out of her disguise & she was sent away once more.

She did not return to her limo this time. The bouncer had finally beaten her will. She ran crying into the alley with her hands over her Bullwinkle horns, ashamed of that part of her body she could not change. I felt bad for her, I was rooting for her all along. Poor Bullwinkle headed princess.

The next day I read the local trash magazine while I drank my hot cocoa. The magazine, The Kingdom Enquirer, Had a picture of Prince Charming on the front. He was drunk & kissing the Bullwinkle headed princess in the alley. The other princess was in the background glaring with anger at her former friend. Why did she get to kiss Prince Charming? She's a Bullwinkle head. The picture looked like my Bullwinkle headed princess made out well, however the caption more accurately described the doom she was destined to feel. It read "Bullwinkle Head dumped by Prince Charming on first date"

Ah, Rats!

We saw your gang of rats in the basement a few weeks ago. You were having a great time romping around the basement. What a perfect environment for our rat children to move into. Obviously the noise & partying is a bit much for us. Our rat children are in their college years & need a cheap or free place to nest. We brought them by to see the place & they just loved it. They even found the bags of rats nest you so generously left out & began redecorating right away. We found the rat traps laying around with the free food on them, we appreciate that you did not have them set. Our children did not understand that spent traps are not dangerous & they showed their disdain by defecating on the traps after we were done eating the food. This does not in any way reflect their opinion of your space as a whole. They just love the levels of boxes to play in and the easy pathways beneath the pallets. You have really outdone yourself in the development of your accommodations. We hope that you become fast friends & that our children can join in your ratty celebrations. If our children become a burden to you, don't hesitate to contact us for assistance in a resolution.

Yours Truly,

Mr. & Mrs. James Thurgood Huxley Rat

Good Sunday

I wasn't expecting any kind of enjoyment or excitement today. Then I completed the story of a trip to Deadwood & the animal encounters along the way. I felt the need for caffeine & sugar, two items I rarely crave let alone actually ever ingest. I ran into Evil Cat at the bottom of the stairs. She said that a friend of hers was in town & they were meeting her and other friends in common at the cupcake Royal. Sugar & Caffeine. I enjoy the company of all those friends in common & the interesting subjects they discuss. The friend from out of town had a great story. She was going to do paint ball wars with some of her friends and her sister. She was shocked at the size of the guns, not being a gun person or having any past experience with guns. She went into the battlefield & basically hid the whole game, only popping up occasionally to shoot & watch her paint explode against the scenery. One time she came up, shot at random & then heard her sister exclaim "I'm hit". She had shot her own sister in the face with a paint ball. She felt horrible, in fact as she was telling the story I could see her slightly well up. She said she went out of the battle field only to find her sister sitting outside crying. She found out her sister had been crying even before she was shot in the face by the paint ball. Obviously battle did not agree with either of the sisters. It was genuinely touching to see the level of compassion & lack of aggressiveness in someone. However that lasted about a whole second before we all agreed that on the paint ball battlefield all people are targets & we would have had to take the shot too.

I reminded myself just how much I hate cupcakes or any type of sweets by eating a portion of one. It was disgusting. I had to toss the uneaten portions right away. I could not stand to look at them laying on the table.

We went to a realm more comfortable to me. Hazlewood's, the bar down the street in Ballard has an elixir much more enticing to me, Bourbon & Beer. Here we discussed our loose associations with organized crime syndicates of our past. It turns out that we are all non-criminals but have had close associations with many in the crime world. The horse racing & show horse industry is apparently fraught with criminal activities. and apparently so is the pesticide industry. One or two in the group had not had any close interactions in the crime world & it shocked them how close some of us had come.

We decided that food was in our immediate future & jumped over to Thaiku in Ballard. Here we all experienced many flavors new to us & not just new but good. We all took samplings of the others & shared ours. Even the drinks here are original with exotic African & Asian ingredients set to stimulate & slightly hallucinate. They limit you to one so you can't really get to those levels of hallucinations some would like to reach.

On the ride home there was debate on whether or not the girl bending over on the Supersuckers shirt Poverty was wearing showed snatch or not. I stayed out of this conversation because though I could not see it was showing snatch, I liked to believe it did. What a good Sunday this turned out to be.

Along the Way

I turned onto the highway, the final leg of my journey to visit Snowball. My light immediately caught the glowing eyes of something wandering in the road. The eyes darted off the road, then back into the road several times. They couldn't seem to make up their mind. As I drove closer the eyes revealed themselves to be a fox. The fox had found a roadkill & even though my high beams were barring down on him, he could not leave his treasure behind. He was trying to pull along his feast but the tires that had arrived there first had thoroughly glued the snack to the pavement. His eyes never leaving the roadkill, the fox jumped off into the grass.

Three deer were in the road as I approached, I slowed with caution out of habit & it paid off this time. All three could have easily veered into the forest as they ran from my oncoming lights. They panicked & opted to run back out into the road right in front of me. Then instead of continuing across the highway they veered away & ran in front of me for about 40 yards. One of them got a clue, jumped from the middle of the road all the way across a lane, the median & a ditch, landing on the rise beside the road & dropped away from sight. The others followed, though not in as graceful a fashion. One of them barreled through at ground level kicking up dust & grass the whole way. The final deer decided to try the graceful jump the first had done. This did not work out as the deer plowed head first into the ground after tripping, she quickly regained & trotted away deciding not to try the graceful deer thing again.

This animal was unexpected as she ran into the road. What is she? She looks like a weasel, fully 2 times the size of a cat. Her markings were black on top with white on the bottom. She moved like a woman, as her front end went one way, her back end swung wide the other way. She snaked her body across the road quickly & disappeared down the ditch. I wish she would have lingered longer. She was interesting.

A large white owl sat on a fence post & watched as I went by. I wonder what the owl thinks as the lights approach then swing by on the road. Most animals seem to think along the lines of prey or danger. The owl was not far enough off the road not to feel danger. Is Mr. Owl contemplating the taste of those large animals with the bright eyes that keep growling by?

A regular house cat slinks across the road. The cat was low to the ground as she went across the road. Her body language I have seen when scolding pet's in the past. I think she knew she was not supposed to be in the road & now that she was caught by my headlights showed her shame.

Not 10 yards past the cat a field mouse ran like a bullet across the road. I bet that cat would sure like to know about this.

I began to think, outside of the fox that had welcomed me to this highway, the size of the animals was going from large to small. Deer, Weasel, Owl, Cat, Mouse. I started contemplating what could be smaller. Then I thought, how did a house cat get out here in the middle of the woods. Must be a cabin or something out here. I figured the way things work in this life are unexpected. So the next thing fate will send to the spotlight on the highway will probably be something like a bear or a moose or something huge. Right as I was pondering this. I had to slam the brakes as something huge in front of me froze in the headlights. It was a homeless man, pushing his shopping cart across the road. He froze like a deer in the headlight. What the heck is a homeless man doing pushing his shopping cart down the middle of a rural highway in the middle of the forest? I slowed to pass him, he did not move until the lights had passed, then quickly pushed away. I saw he had a large item in his basket. It stood about 7 feet above the edge of the basket. The blue tarp covering it was too small & left a portion exposed. It seemed to be a large black monolith. I'm not going to wonder about this, chalk it up to one of those David Lynchian scenes where there are no true answers, only the underlying feeling of the vast unknown.