My Christmas Vacation

I decided to put on a happy face, it scared the hell out of a teenage girl at the airport. After my flight was canceled, I walked to what I thought was the end of the line of people waiting to reschedule flights. I was informed by a joyous older couple that this was only 1/4th of the line, the end of the line is clear down there, I couldn't see it. They informed me they had been waiting for 4 hours in the line but were both smiling & talking to everyone around them. They were not bitter or in tears like 99% of the rest of the people in the airport.

That is when I decided it ain't so bad, there are lot's of beautiful women in the airport to look at & many funny arguments & people freaking out as tensions run high. I will enjoy these things rather than be a part of them. I found out quick that in a crowd of angry & sad people that most people appreciate someone who is taking it good, I think I reset many people to normalcy. That is up until I walked past a teenage girl, who looked at me being happy & got a look on her face like she had just seen Satan himself & tried to scrunch herself further into a brick wall she was leaning against. Note to self teenagers are afraid of happiness.

I had traveled to the airport this morning in a beautiful winter wonderland in Seattle. It was calm & quiet unlike anything I had heard in the city, I could hear every train whistle & every boat horn from miles away, there was one bird chirping & icicles crunched as they dropped through the snow. It took me 3 hours to get to the airport what usually takes 1, I probably would have wandered through the snow checking it all out anyway. There were buses stuck in snow drifts & on hills, some had spun out, my driver was cool and just whipped past them & only stopped where he knew he could get going again even though some people got mad at him for missing their stop. I got dropped off at Pike Place Market and wandered around for awhile, I had left early enough to allow myself some time for enjoyment of the trip.

If your flight has been canceled, please leave the airport. Do not stay here you will not be rescheduled today, Said the loud speaker. I noticed a wave of police & security guards come running out to specified points of the airport after they made this announcement. I guess they knew what was about to happen, people freaked, it was hilarious. I saw the happy old couple shrug and go I guess were spending Christmas in Seattle & head off.

I saw them again outside waiting for the bus, we talked for awhile, I really like them. Two buses arrived, there were enough people waiting to fill 3, the old couple were getting knocked around as people turned to a mob trying to be on these buses. I knew the old lady had been freezing, I decided she needed to be on this bus, I blocked out a clearing for them to allow them on the bus, they thanked me, I stepped back & let everyone else I had just blocked on the bus, I figured it would not be good for me to be in the same bus as them as they were all very angry with me now. I waited for the next bus which took an hour & then had 3 buses worth of people trying to get on one, A huge black man was intimidating people to move up in the crowd, when he got to me I turned to him and said "I am getting on this bus", I must have said it convincingly, he threw up his palms & said OK man, we both made it on.

I ate my apple as a group of women screamed into their cell phones in Arabic & Spanish. The snow was building up on my head. My mom had called as I got back into Seattle, she has finagled me another flight out at 3pm so I hopped off the bus, crossed the street & waited for another 45 minutes for the same bus to go back, I could have just stayed on it. I got back to the airport & checked right in, cool!, NOT! after checking in I found the curbside bag check had closed & they sent me to the end of the bag check line. This line went on for infinity, I never knew infinity has a corner in it but this one did after infinity it turned the corner only to go on for infinity part deux.

Pajamas, used to be my preferred attire for airplane travel. Sexual attraction has taught me a lesson why they are not always the best idea. The large group of Japanese girls, all of them beautiful, played keep away with one of the girls passport. I watched as they grabbed at each other, giggled, bumped, pushed, wrestled. At one point the passport girl caught the girl holding her passport, the keep away girl secreted it away to another but the passport girl did not see that. She proceeded to push the other against the wall just like a cop would when catching a suspect. She did a full pat down search of the girl she had held against the wall as the whole group laughed uncontrollably. Their line moved & they all went with it, I turned & came face to face with the evil old Iranian lady that had been bitching the whole time about this line. I saw a look of disgust on her face as she grabbed her bags & moved back in the line 3 spaces. I looked down to my PJ's & saw what had sent her running. At least my wood helped a few people move up in line.

We can all take a shower together, said the loudmouthed Mexican girl to me and the hot blond. My final flight was canceled as were all the flights from Seatac airport. Everyone in the airport left at the same time. Getting a bus was impossible so I asked the hot blond if she would like to share a cab, the loudmouth Mexican girl who was also hot jumped in and said she would like to share it with us as well, split 3 ways that would only be $20 each for the cab. Once in the city the snow was so bad that we could go no farther than my house, we were all freezing & needed to warm up quick. The bus showed up that I could get on & my fantasy dissolved. I am now still trying to keep a positive outlook on the day but am starting to recede into my fantasy's.

Man with tools coming on, get out of the way. It was snowing hard & I was cold & tired looking forward to a long long walk from downtown Seattle to Ballard carrying luggage. A bus came by & I waved him down, he stopped even though it was not a bus stop. The driver said there is no room but if I could squeeze in the back door I could get on and this is the last bus leaving downtown. Another man had walked up to the bus as I was talking to the driver, he beat me to the back door, there was no room. He was carrying snow shovels & started yelling "man with tools coming on, get out of the way" & made enough room for the 2 of us.

I love the Greeks. I was still a mile or so away from home & knew I had to walk this last part through deep snow & hills. I walked into the Greek restaurant in Fremont they said they would be staying open for awhile, I immediately ordered some hot soup. Some friends live nearby here & I called to have them come down for dinner. It was very relaxing but all my muscles stiffened up, I realized that other than the bus ride to the airport this morning that this was the 1st time I had sat down, even my other bus rides had all been standing room only. I left at 6:55am in the morning, it was now something like 6pm.

The girl stroked at my beard as her jealous boyfriend & his friends looked on. I dragged my luggage, it may have actually made it harder but I didn't care. I was wet, cold, sore & tired. I felt miserable & figured I should look miserable to fit how I felt. A group of 4 girls & 3 guy's were walking towards me, I started to limp. I don't know why I started to limp, I didn't need to. I guess it just made me look more like I felt. They were having a snowball fight, one of the girls missed her target & hit me. She was very apologetic. You poor guy, I'm sorry she brushed the cold snow from my beard & then scratched my beard as if I were a dog or a cat she was petting. Her male friends were not pleased, they went on. As they went away I realized I was still wearing the PJ's.